If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak,a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once.
What Exactly Is Heartbreak?
The causes may be different, the feeling of loss is the same — whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness.
How Can I Deal With How I Feel?
Most people will tell you you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way.
Tips that might help:
1. Share your feelings. Some people find that sharing their feelings with someone they trust — someone who recognizes what they're going through — helps them feel better. OK, we know that sharing feelings can be tough for guys, but you don't necessarily have to tell the football team or your wrestling coach what you're going through. Talk with a friend or family member, a teacher, or counselor. It might make you more comfortable if you find a female family member or friend, like an older sister or a neighbor, to talk to.
2. Hang out and do the things they normally enjoy. Do something fun to take your mind off the negative feelings for a while.
3. Remember what's good about you. This one is really important. Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you.
4. Take good care of yourself. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost.
5. Don't be afraid to cry. This is another tough one for guys, but there's no shame in crying now and then. No one has to see you do it — Find a place where you can be alone.
6. Keep yourself busy. You should focus on other things too.
7. Give yourself time. The heartbreak almost always heals after a while.
How long will that take?
That depends on what caused your heartbreak, how you deal with loss, and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things. Getting over a break-up can take a couple of days to many weeks — and sometimes even months.
Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. They're not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness.
Sometimes the sadness is so deep — or lasts so long — that a person may need some extra support. For someone who isn't starting to feel better after a few weeks or who continues to feel depressed, talking to a counselor or therapist can be very helpful.
So be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin.
