Why Are My Parents Divorcing?
It's common for teens to think that their parents' divorce is somehow their fault, but nothing could be further from the truth. Some teens
may wonder if they could have helped to prevent the split. Others may wish they had prevented arguments by cooperating more within
the family, doing better with their behavior, or getting better grades. But separation and divorce are a result of a couple's problems with
each other, not with their kids. The decisions adults make about divorce are their own.
If your parents are divorcing, you may experience a lots of feelings. Your emotions may change frequently, too. You may feel angry, frustrated, upset, or sad. You might feel protective of one parent or blame one for the situation. You may feel abandoned, afraid, worried, or guilty. You may also feel relieved, especially if there has been a lot of tension at home. These feelings are normal and talking about them with a friend, family member or trusted adult can really help.
What Parents and Teens Can Do to Make Divorce Easier
Keep the peace.
Dealing with divorce is easiest when parents get along. Teens find it especially hard when their parents fight and argue or act with bitterness toward each other.
Be Fair.
Most teens say it's important that parents don't try to get them to "take sides."
Keep in touch.
It can be a good idea to keep in touch with a parent you see less often because of distance. Even a quick email saying "I'm thinking of you" helps ease the feelings of missing each other.
Work it out.
You may want both parents to come to special events, like games, meets, plays, or recitals. But sometimes a parent may find it awkward to attend if the other is present. You might be able to come up with an idea for a compromise or solution to this problem and suggest it to both parents.
Pick a good time to tell your parents about your concerns.
When there's enough time to sit down with one or both parents to discuss how the divorce will affect you. Don't worry about putting added stress on your parents. It's better to bring your concerns into the open than to keep them to yourself and let worries or resentment build. There are solutions for most problems and counselors who can help teens and their parents find those solutions.
Live your life.
Stay focused on your own plans and dreams, make sure you participate in as many of your normal activities as possible. When things are changing at home, it can really help to keep some things, such as school activities and friends, the same. If things get too hard at home, see if you can stay with a friend or relative until things calm down. Take care of yourself by eating right and getting regular exercise.
Let others support you.
Talk about your feelings and reactions to the divorce with someone you trust. If you're feeling down or upset, let your friends and family members support you.
