Why Do I Feel Upset About Moving?
Moving is considered to be one of the major stresses in life.
Leaving behind friends, familiar places, and activities creates anxiety for everyone involved — parents included. And it's hard work to
pack and prepare for a move and then settle into a new home.
The reasons behind a move may be upsetting, too, and that can add to the stress. A parent may be forced to take a job in a new town because of company layoffs or staff reorganizations. Sometimes a death or divorce in the family can lead to a move, or your family may have to move to take care of a sick family member, such as a grandparent.
Be open with your parents and try to talk reasonably about the move and how it is affecting you. Your parents or siblings may have the same concerns or fears.
A move can lead some people to become depressed. If you find that you can't shake feelings of sadness or anxiety, talk to an adult. Don't worry that your parents are too focused on organizing their own lives and don't worry that you'll be bothering them. Most parents appreciate knowing how you feel. Or you can talk to your brother or sister or a school counselor. Not dealing with feelings now may lead to problems later (the same is true of masking emotions with alcohol or drugs).
It can help to remember that the problems involved in moving are always temporary. People usually feel better once they've had time to settle in.
What to Expect
One unexpected difference may be school. It's easy to assume that one school is pretty much like another, but your new school may not use the same textbooks or procedures. Some of your classes may be different, or the teacher may have already covered topics you haven't learned about yet. It can be particularly hard if you're moving in the middle of a school year, but your teachers will understand and work with you to be sure you feel comfortable.
It's common for people who move to feel like they're starting all over again. You have to learn new streets, new faces, and new ways of doing things. In your new home, the kids may dress or speak differently. The slang and accents may sound different in your new community, depending on how far you move. It's natural for people to feel out of place in a new situation where they don't know the customs and rules.
Making the Best of It
Although there is no way to eliminate the anxiety of moving, there are many ways to make the move easier. Before you even begin packing, you can start to get to know your new home. The Internet and library may contain lots of good information about your new community. Make a list of your interests and hobbies, and then find the locations and phone numbers of places where those activities take place. When you're visiting your new school, find out if there are deadlines for activities such as cheerleading, sports, and the yearbook committee and see if you can still join.
A new place seems more familiar, and it's easier to make friends, when you can participate in a common interest with people who do the things you enjoy.
Look for opportunities to try new activities as well. If you have a job, look up potential employment resources in your new city. Ask your current boss to write a reference letter for you. If you work for a food chain or a chain of stores, you might be able to arrange a transfer and have a job waiting for you.
Keeping in Touch
Saying goodbye is never easy, but it doesn't mean it's forever. Luckily, today it's easier than ever to stay in touch with email, instant messaging, and cell phones. Send pictures — even videos — back and forth. Share interesting information about the differences, both good and bad, between your old home and your new place. You might be able to plan summer visits to see old friends or for a friend to visit you.
Moving is hard, but you may discover that it has taught you some valuable skills: how to make new friends, be flexible, and find your way around strange places. Although learning these lessons can feel tough at the time, once you've settled in, you may find you like the new place better.
